I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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