so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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