How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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