I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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