I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
