No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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