cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
