We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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