can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
