Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
