I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
