508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
