is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize