the day after is always just damage control
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
