I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
