I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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