we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
