smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
