Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
