You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
