West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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