Don't you send me to vm
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
