if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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