I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize