Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
