Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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