I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
