chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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