I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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