he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize