She is in my trunk
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize