I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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