k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
