never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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