In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
