His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just gargled with NyQuil
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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