clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
