why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
