So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
