i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
