You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
