too bad you live with your parents still
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
