everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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