Yo dont text me then not text me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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