New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
