just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
