is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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