hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
