After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
