You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize