I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
