Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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