Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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