is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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