I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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