I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
