you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize