I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
