her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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