u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
