I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He's on the porch naked. Help.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
