My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
