I just cut my nipple shaving
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
